Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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