grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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