did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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