I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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