if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
