I think I died a long time ago.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
