..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
