how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
