Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
When did angry sex become our thing?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
