Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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