Pappa wants mamma naked
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
