i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
