Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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