How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
