A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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