she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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