i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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