one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
