She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
