goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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