I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
