he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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