no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
