perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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