I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
