what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so let's talk penis.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
