im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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