the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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