hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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