birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
