i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
