we're blogging at a bar
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
