She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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