I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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