you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
