I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
