one two three fourrrrnication!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
