She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
