Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
