Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
