first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize