There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
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Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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