i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
