Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize