I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
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