She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
