After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
