I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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