After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
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Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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