So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
