i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
