Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
