I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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