Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
