when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
