I wannas sexs uuuuu
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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