Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
