That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
