seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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