Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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