Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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