My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
