Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
