yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize