my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
