Dude my mom stole all your condoms
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
