i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
