Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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