Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
