Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
