Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
